My Very Ambitious Summer Reading List

Ok, I'm laughing at myself because the ironic thing about this Summer Reading List is that my whole life is like one long summer! Ah, the sweet life of a "homemaker/stay at home mother" (not much actual 'homemaking' happening, to be honest)! Without further ado...

Maria's Summer Reading List 2009:

Fiction:
Bodily Harm, Margaret Atwood
The Edible Woman, Margaret Atwood
Wilderness Tips, Margaret Atwood
The Robber Bride, Margaret Atwood
Eclipse (3rd in the Twilight Saga), Stephenie Meyer
Breaking Dawn (4th in the Twilight Saga) Stephenie Meyer
The Host, Stephenie Meyer
The Mermaid Chair, Sue Monk Kidd
The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd
The Palace of Illusions, Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni
Queen of Dreams, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
We Were the Mulvaneys, Joyce Carol Oates
I'll Take You There, Joyce Carol Oates
When We Were Orphans, Kazuo Ishiguro
Stones From the River, Ursula Hegi
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
Momo, Michael Ende
Clan of the Cave Bear, Jean M. Auel (husband's begging me to read it!)
Total: 20

Non-Fiction:
How To Be Idle, Tom Hodgkinson (not that I need instructions, I'm plenty idle, but it's interesting so far)
The Idler's Companion, Tom Hodgkinson
Everyday Blessings, Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn
No Death, No Fear, Thich Nhat Hanh
Anger, Thich Nhat Hanh
Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh
Peace Is Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh
Comfortable With Uncertainty, Pema Chodron
The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
A Joseph Campbell Companion
Myths to Live By, Joseph Campbell
In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan
Awakening Intuition, Mona Lisa Schulz
Solviva, Anna Edey
Total: 15

So, that's a whopping 35 books for 3 months (comes to about 2-3 books a week!). I'm already half-way through "Bodily Harm" and will no doubt finish it tonight. And, I've already started "How To Be Idle" which is a rather amusing book. And, no doubt, others will recommend books to me, and I'm pretty much game for anything (as you can see from the varied list), so I'll probably add those too!

Summer Reading List and Projects, etc

In two weeks Seth and I will be going to visit my parents and brother and his kids in Pennsylvania. Woohoo. My brother and his kids are moving from Brazil to Switzerland, and so are taking a slight detour to visit my parents. I jumped on the chance for a change of scenery, the chance for Seth to see and play with his cousins, see his grandparents, which he doesn't see all that often, and most importantly for me to see my brother, to whom I am very close (yes, surprisingly so, given the distance!).

So, I am putting together a reading list for this summer...mostly fiction, although not entirely. I've already begun with Margaret Atwood's "Bodily Harm." To say that I love Atwood is an understatement, although it's rather ironic that I haven't read everything she's written since I discovered my heart beating for her over 10 years ago. I get distracted. And I like to explore other authors.

Tim (the aforementioned brother) and I are going to explore tie-dye and batik projects with the kids. So many ideas swirling in my mind. And, then there are the knitting projects to finish (and there are a few!). And painting...I...need...to...paint...

We will be there for a month! This is probably the longest I've ever stayed at my parents since I finished High School. A sister of mine used to say that her limit was a weekend, and I used to feel that way too. But so many things have changed. I've changed, my parents have changed. They nap more. I keep my mouth shut more. Well, I open it, then regret it, and then the next time I visit them I add that subject to "the list of things not to mention around parents if I want to avoid a heated argument." Last time, I actually admitted to my father I wasn't a Christian. Yeah, my father, the one who's a Protestant Minister. The ensuing conversation wasn't pretty. I take my share of the blame.

The best thing is that they generally don't dispense with parenting advice. Oh, my sweet lucky stars! In fact, they don't really meddle in my affairs in general. Oh, my sweet lucky shooting stars! I am frequently the listening ear to others who's parents give their kid a haircut or pierce the baby's ears, or say something infuriating. I don't expect my parents to be perfect. I have 31 years of experience to prove that they are anything but. Although maybe that's not quite fair. They are perfect in their humanity; they do the best they can with what they've got. Don't we all?

The next two weeks have Seth signed up for "I'm a Big Kid Camp" (he went this week and loved it), as well as Pee Wee Baseball Camp. It's actually really fun to have him not only doing things on his own, but also being around other children. I am not the same as a posse of kids, and sometimes I can tell he wishes I was. We are considering finding a child-care that is light on the "preschool" and heavy on the "multi-age group of kids" having loads of fun, so that Seth can get his needs met and I can...sit at home twiddling my thumbs and updating my Facebook status. I mean, read more Atwood. Or exercise. Or paint. Or...something.

guitars, sleep, and pineapple

I'm eating some delicious, fresh, pineapple as I write this. Mmmm. The very pineapple I cut my hand while cutting last night, at around 1:00am. Yes, why was I up, cutting pineapple at 1 am? Seth was up, and after several attempts to lull him to sleep, he wasn't having any of it and I was tired. So I decided that since the pineapple was ripe and I didn't want it to rot in this warm weather we're having, that I might as well make myself useful. Wielding a chopping knife when tired and frustrated is not wise. My left hand being, of course, the case in point.

I've been towing the line, allowing Seth to discover when he's tired but I have to say, it's getting harder and harder, especially since I had expectations, which are now disappointed expectations... Sometimes it's so hard to give up the control patterns. Yesterday was no exception. At one point Nate said that Seth was "overtired" and that's why he was behaving the way he was. Actually, given Seth's sleep schedule, that was inaccurate, and I pointed out that it was more likely that Nate was overtired. He was going to clean the kitchen at midnight, and I told him to leave it and go to bed. He is after all, the one who has to get up early and go to work. After I pointed out that he was probably the one who was overtired, he finally gave in and went to bed.

So, there was no guitar practice for me yesterday. And, now with my hand being what it is, I'm not entirely sure there will be for the next several days, either. But I think of the chords and notes I've learned in my head, and I can access them, so all is not lost.

Nate showed me a youtube video in which a scientist was saying how the more neurons are fired in response to specific stimuli the more they are wired, which also means the more likely they will respond to similar-appearing stimuli. Letting go of my control patterns is like trying to cut through very dense wires with a blunt scissors. On the other hand, the more I practice letting go, the more the 'letting go' wires get solidly connected. And, of course, this also applies to learning the guitar, which is inspiring.

Yes, I got all that from a pineapple. ;)

Guitars

Nate came home from clinic on Saturday raving about a guitar he saw at a nearby shop. It was hard to keep from rolling my eyes; he has two guitars, a mandolin, a trombone, a concert flute, a native american flute, a digderidoo (acquired on his Pacific tour in Australia, of course), and probably a few others I'm forgetting...along with the piano we share and the assorted percussion instruments that Seth has. Not to mention that I bought a guitar several years ago, with the intention of learning it (this particular goal always placed on the back burner). I bit my tongue, though, and let him tell me how he was going to trade in his classical guitar for it. They gave him apporximately $150 for it, and he put it on layaway, until he can pay the rest of the $250. It really is gorgeous, and I'm excited for him.



It inspired me to take out my guitar and learn a few notes...and now my fingers are sore (it's a steel string). Nate taught me a chord and I strummed while he made music on his. It was hard to loose the embarrassed feeling of fumbling in the company of others, even dear husband (who is constantly seeing me fumble around with life in general!), but a good exercise in letting go.

Seth is also now more interested in the guitars, one of which we have sitting in a stand, and randomly goes over to it and strums it wildly. Oh, to be so unfettered by self-consciousness.

Leave the Dishes

In her talk at the 2009 LIFE is Good Conference, Ren Allen read this wonderful poem by Louise Erdrich:

Advice to Myself

Leave the dishes.
Let the celery rot in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator
and an earthen scum harden on the kitchen floor.
Leave the black crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.
Throw the cracked bowl out and don’t patch the cup.
Don’t patch anything. Don’t mend. Buy safety pins.
Don’t even sew on a button.
Let the wind have its way, then the earth
that invades as dust and then the dead
foaming up in gray rolls underneath the couch.
Talk to them. Tell them they are welcome.
Don’t keep all the pieces of the puzzles
or the doll’s tiny shoes in pairs, don’t worry
who uses whose toothbrush or if anything
matches, at all.
Except one word to another. Or a thought.
Pursue the authentic-decide first
what is authentic,
then go after it with all your heart.
Your heart, that place
you don’t even think of cleaning out.
That closet stuffed with savage mementos.
Don’t sort the paper clips from screws from saved baby teeth
or worry if we’re all eating cereal for dinner
again. Don’t answer the telephone, ever,
or weep over anything at all that breaks.
Pink molds will grow within those sealed cartons
in the refrigerator. Accept new forms of life
and talk to the dead
who drift in though the screened windows, who collect
patiently on the tops of food jars and books.
Recycle the mail, don’t read it, don’t read anything
except what destroys
the insulation between yourself and your experience
or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters
this ruse you call necessity.



Will re-read every time I start getting my panties in a knot about how messy the house is. Along with saying, "On my deathbed, I'm not going to regret not doing the dishes more." Seriously.

Swimming, swimming, and more swimming

We've gone swimming everyday this week so far. Each day Seth is getting more and more brave. Yesterday, he walked on tiptoes, which he calls "walking on peglegs," all around the 3ft deep section. I was surprised and encouraged at his confidence. I know that part of that confidence is because of my own confidence in the water. I come from a family of "fishes" - we all had swimming lessons and a few of us (myself included) were lifeguards at some point. I always laugh at the sign that says, "No Lifeguard on Duty." When I'm there, there's always one, and even though I'm not currently "certified" I would feel obligated to jump in after anyone, not just Seth.

Today we'll be going swimming again, and hopefully there will be more kids out. I keep forgetting that during the day kids are in school or daycare, so I'm always wondering where the kids are...and then I think, isn't school out already? So, I'm still wondering where the kids are.

To spend each day at the pool for several hours: what a sweet life we have!

"Spoiling" Seth

I love giving Seth new things he will love. I recently won a few things on eBay for him (it's starting to get a little compulsive): a 122 piece train set, a music box record player and a tape recorder. The last two were ones that I and my siblings had as kids, and haven't arrived yet. We received the train set yesterday after a trip to Goodwill that ended in getting a new little lego set and some games (Chutes & Ladders, anyone? Jenga?).

I question the idea of spoiling our children by giving them things that they will enjoy, including of one's self and one's time. How is it spoiling if it makes them happy and meets their needs to explore the world? This can be said of anything that we think is "spoiling." Holding a crying baby. Allowing a child to eat ice cream for dinner instead of actual dinner. Carrying a 3.5 year old. Saying "yes" when your child ask for something in the dollar store (seriously, why would you say "No?").

It is my goal to say "yes" when and where possible, and to question my own "no's". Many of my "no's" come from the socio-cultural conditioning of "You can't have everything you want" land. While in some cases that is absolutely true (I couldn't be a US Navy submariner, for instance), it squashes any creative thinking on how one might get what they want, replacing it with feelings of a sense of lack. And where there's a sense of lack, there will always be a desire for more. The cup never looks or feels full. And I suspect that's one reason why America is where it is, economically, today.

More importantly, I've found that the more generous I am with Seth, the more generous he is with others. I rarely have to tell him to share; if he has a cool toy with him at the park, and someone wants to play with it, he willingly gives it up, never once saying, "It's mine!" He knows that there's more where it came from. He insists on sharing his chips or french fries or cookies with me, even when I don't want them. He is more willing to do things with me that need to get done when I allow him to explore a little more at the store.

Imagine what would happen if more parents said "Yes!" more.